January 2012
desterysmith: “i haven’t breathed/eaten/peed/pooped/showered since last year” OH OH MY GOD SWEET SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH YOU’RE SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST THREW UP ALL OVER THE FLOOR
Jan 1st
464 notes
December 2011
Dec 31st
43,984 notes
roadt0joy asked: Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them. No tag back.
Dec 31st
Dec 31st
56,203 notes
billclintonsexscapades: I’ve emotionally disowned family members and close friends for choosing Rainbow Road on mario kart games, don’t test me
Dec 31st
21 notes
Dec 31st
42,753 notes
Passed a real gentleman on the sidewalk tonight
Dude [into cellphone]: I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING JAW THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU. DO YOU HEAR ME? YOUR FUCKING JAW. I'M GONNA BREAK-- hold on, give me a second. There's a woman walking by.
Dec 31st
53,383 notes
Dec 31st
1,456 notes
friend: mulan isnt even a princess
me: dishonor
dishonor on you
dishonor on your whole family
DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
Dec 31st
75,838 notes
Dec 31st
17,590 notes
somanymoviescomingoutin2012omg: monasleaza: what if what if Karp is right look at this man he hasn’t been right a day in his life
Dec 31st
240 notes
How teens and adults text
courtnieduffel: tomatoshades: jakeenglishswaifu: singlepixelsmiles: hoyitsjcbayan: Expectations: Teens - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff Adults -  What are you doing today? Want to hang out? Reality: Teens - Hey! What you doing today? Want to hang out? Adults - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff my mom my mom too  mine too...
Dec 30th
44,712 notes
Dec 30th
1,798 notes
when i stub my toe or something i always shout “FUCK ME!” because i want everyone to know that i may be hurt, but i’m still single
Dec 30th
5,823 notes
1 tag
Dec 30th
8,937 notes
Dec 30th
14 notes
Dec 30th
96 notes
Dec 30th
722 notes
billclintonsexscapades: Not wearing a bra is hell it’s like running with a handful of gelatin in your hand connected to your nerve endings by a string
Dec 30th
69 notes
doctor: are you sexually active?
me:
I then laugh so hard I fall off the table and crack a rib thus prolonging the appointment
Dec 30th
254 notes
1 tag
Dec 30th
8 notes
3 tags
Katelyn and I's text messages...
Katelyn: ok I'll wait for you to watch the new episode so that we can text during it.
Me: Haha, I'm just going to have to avoid tumblr like the plague for a day or so
Katelyn: Yeah omg. Its like the holy grail of spoilers
Me: It's the worst and best place in the world
Katelyn: It's like satan and jesus had a baby and that baby loved cats and harry potter and pizza
Me: And then satan created the anti-christ known as anons
Katelyn: rgiwlkrzsfokdlge CASSIE
Dec 30th
Dec 30th
105,291 notes
Dec 30th
10,375 notes
Dec 30th
106 notes
Dec 30th
32,200 notes
Dec 30th
342 notes
Dec 30th
1,627 notes
1 tag
Spent the whole day with Katelyn, she finally...
fuckyeahbabyvampires: but we still don’t get why they are not buried at sea. Everything made sense except for that
Dec 30th
4 notes
Dec 29th
20,831 notes
1 tag
Dec 29th
58,794 notes
Dec 29th
16,975 notes
5 tags
Dec 29th
6,555 notes
1 tag
Dec 29th
22,187 notes
Dec 29th
172,358 notes
cardcaptorsollux: baby youre as hot as the bottom of my laptop
Dec 28th
6,109 notes
1 tag
I think watching the Jimmy Neutron movie on netflix has been the best decision i’ve made all week
Dec 28th
Dec 28th
1,899 notes
Dec 28th
40 notes
That moment when you fall in love with a piece of...
Dec 28th
141,364 notes
Dec 28th
52,879 notes
Dec 28th
36,971 notes
Dec 28th
85,932 notes
Dec 28th
22,955 notes
Me: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Mum: He's black
Me:
Mum:
Me:
Mum:
Me: You look for fresh prints, but oh my god
Dec 28th
55,697 notes
2 tags
Dec 28th
7,986 notes
saddeer: thank god for autocorrect without it i almost sent “ghjdsofszd” instead of “oinvdrsfeadjwskx” how fucking embarrassing 
Dec 27th
5,391 notes
1 tag
Dec 27th
Dec 27th
13,855 notes
ha-502: everytime i get lonely i remember that there are hot singles dying to meet me in my area and im okay again 
Dec 27th
1,451 notes