Ｍ Ａ Ｓ Ｔ Ｅ Ｒ Ｈ Ａ Ｓ Ｒ Ｅ Ｔ Ｕ Ｒ Ｎ Ｅ Ｄ
her voice says “comedic” but her face says “help me, i can’t listen to any more knock-knock jokes.”
and his face says that he just came up with 3 new knock-knock jokes while mowing.
i hate small talk
tell me about how lonely you are or tell me about why you keep waking up in the morning or talk to me about your mum’s eyes and your dad’s laugh. I don’t care about the weather and you don’t care about how my job’s going.
if we just met and u try and tell me how lonely you are i will turn 180 degrees and walk away
GoodTURN UP FOR WHITE MEN NOT GETTING AWAY WITH BEIN STUPID
True happiness exists and it is a piglet eating ice cream at a mini picnic table under a mini umbrella.
i am in love with two people. one is you. the other one is also you, but from an alternate timeline with dragons.
shrimp are referred to as an abomination four times more than homosexuality is in the bible
I bet you thou-
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
im so fucking angry
someone come play with my hair until the future isn’t scary anymore